sorry but I don't really have a poem today so yeah.... I'm sooo tired though (like always) but our schools Christmas concert is tonight :) kinda sorta excited for that because I like my dress. I think its kinda sad you cant see yourself unless you're looking at a mirror or a picture.so many odd things in life. that's all I gotta say!

by this time of the day im hella tired :( ughhh I cant wait to get home and just eat and sleep x/ blehh

you were the

kind of person

that looked just

like my poetry, so

heartbreakingly beautiful.

dang I'm tired... haha Mondays. but today was okay? I cant really remember it atm but- wait no it was really great! got a lot of my math done, my test grade was 90%! (proud of me) and I got some activities done in English as well ☺ I miss my mom I think im gonna stay with her until Thursday/ when me and her leave to Whitehorse, so excited for that. I get to see my sister and her family and my cousin finally. And I would be excited for Christmas shopping but im hella broke. I wonder if my mom will give me money?...

like no other

understand me.

I'm not like an ordinary world.

I have my madness,

I live in another dimension

and I do not have time  for things

that have no soul.

my blog looks so cute now c:

I don't exactly remember this poem but ill just try my best. also I don't have a title so haha.

promise me you'll know when

the butterfly's have come and

gone, and when you've written

your last song about a boy who

had muscles but was never truly

strong.

oh lovely little sculpted heart

promise me you'll know when

enough is enough and promise me

you'll leave when loving him is

tough.

you guys should follow my tumblr fuggetboutit <3

i woke up mad.

this morning i woke up mad? i have no idea why all i know is i had a dream about my boyfriend and he somehow got me mad so woke up mad. i think its because i was mad i had to wake up, because i slept in for an extra 16 minutes. i stayed at my house last night because 1) i thought the truck would be there but turns out my stepdad went to terrace with it 2) my bf is staying in town and wanted to hangout so i thought my mom could take me up, but again, the truck 3) it kinda felt good to stay there because my mom is alone with my step brother who is always in his room and doesn't even talk to us so giving her company was good. but yeah i stayed at the house last night and i was frustrated this morning too because i left my makeup at my grandmas but, good thing i had eyeliner in my backpack. but my boyfriend did come over with a friend that used to live here but they both came here and we watched "the good dinosaur" and it was very cute and i made them hot chocolate. all in all a good night. and back to today! i think hes coming to my house on the bus after school with our friend again. my dog likes him.

I long for a life I have control of

 

i want a space of my own, decorated

with pictures that hold nice memories,

soft pillows and scented candles

i want shelves filled with books of

adventure and poetry

i want to wake up every morning,

excited for what is to come

i want to look up at the sky

and feel the sun warm my face

i want to go on walks and feel healthy

and strong

i want to feel productive and satisfied

i want to take more photographs

and take up new hobbies

i want to become friends

with more interesting people

who will teach me about

places I've never been

 

i want to feel alive.

Mondays.

blehh im not as energetic as usual but then again i'm not that energetic but at least I could get through the day. i'm so tired ugh. almost an hour then ill be home.

night thoughts

I want to stay but then i

don't. I want to change the

world but afraid I wont. its

getting so damn hard to stay

alive and think what am I

even living for?

 

life has great things soon

to happen but those things

wont happen if you're not

there to experience them.

awwwww!! my big spoon just made/brought me food c: <3 so caring and cute <333

this morning was kind of sort of very bad. dealing with my big baby -.- but it's all good. I kind of don't know what to write but I hope you guys have a wonderful day!

please..
close your eyes and go away

to a magical & special place.

don't go down and start the

tears, ill take away all your

fears.

 

but if you take a blade to

your gorgeous soft skin,

just remember you cannot

win.

 

the pain will go away, but

the scars will forever stay.

I love you. and that, you

must always know, put

that blade down and just

say no.

I kept waking up last night because I kept thinking I slept through my alarm. weird right? I woke up about 4 times last night and I even woke up before my alarm clock! an I wake up at 6! I have no idea why I kept waking up, I think its because I was excited or I just really didn't want to be late! haha. ive also have been having weird dreams lately?...

today has actually been quite a good day? except this morning I messaged my boyfriend asking how we was and he just said "meh" like ugh! I hate people who are grumpy first thing in the morning. you're alive and healthy and that should be enough to be happy in the morning!!! whew.. but other than that it has been a good day (I did tell him that too)

dear "big spoon"

building memories is a day

you're a seed because once

planted it never leaves. roots

grow further into once, lifeless

dirt and if these roots continue

growing and if one day they

are ripped up, goddamn will

it hurt.

 

so as I watch these precious

roots extend I hope ill never

see their ends.

 

because I need you like the

 roots need water. I need you

like the trees need the sun to

grow taller. I need you and

sometimes that's too much to

bare. I need you and that

leaves me fucking scared!

 

because I cannot stop the

persistent thought that

one day our truth will be

gone, shocked but the roots

will remain!... left to soak up

tears that dropped in moments

pain or the roots will remain

leaving me with vibrant feelings

that I will never feel the same.

 

so i'm hoping you can forgive me.

oh god why this day out of all? where do I even start? ugh. doesn't even matter all I can say was today was freakin horrible.

addictions

cigarettes didn't phase me,

cuts didn't scare me, drugs

didn't need me but oh god

I went an hour without

you and then I understood

what an addiction was like.

ugh.

ugghh my teacher for this class wants me to find a blog similar to mine but I cant find any xc ill try again later....

you were red and you

liked me because I was

blue, but when you touched

me I suddenly became a

sky of lilac and you decided

purple just wasn't for you.